No. 8 – Money Just Became More Stressful FUUCCKK

So I just learned about 20 minutes ago that we’re losing 1/5th of our income as of May 10th. Uggghhhhhhh. This is so not what I needed to hear while I’m focusing so much on & trying so hard to get out of debt. I don’t want to go into the details of why our income is dropping but yeah, it sucks.

I think my spending ban might need to last more than a month. I was honestly planning on aiming for that anyway.

I’m so stressed out right now.

It will be fine.

It will be fine.

It will be fine.

We can make this work.

This is what I keep telling myself.

I’m trying to believe it.

I’m glad we started trying to live more frugally before we got this news. Somehow it makes me feel less freaked out about it. I can look on the bright side & say at least we’re lucky enough to have any kind of income with how many people do not during this pandemic.

Anyone ever get a pay cut or lose a job while trying to get out of debt? Any advice on how to handle this, internet friends?

I can’t say cheers today so…

Wishing you well,


8 thoughts on “No. 8 – Money Just Became More Stressful FUUCCKK

  1. I’m sorry to hear that K! I don’t have much advise, just here for emotional support.

    I have to say though, nothing worked better for my shopping ban than when I was laid off and didn’t have the money to spend at all. 😆

    So while I’m sure you would have been successful anyways with your spending ban, I think this drop in income will help with that goal.

    And the nice thing I found is that the habit carries over. Once I allowed myself to stop my spending ban after I found a new job, I found that I had developed some good spending habits that made me spend less each month.

    Wish you the best! And I’m glad you’re staying positive 🙂


  2. I’m so sorry to hear about this development K. Losing income after you start making good other financial choices is incredibly discouraging. In fact, it sucks. I’m so sorry you are experiencing this.

    I can’t really speak to how you should respond to this but when something similar happened to me, I focused on the things I could control. So, the shopping ban is an awesome start. My budget was also a good place to focus time/energy. Figuring out where I could trim, even just a little, helped me feel more in control. Do you have an emergency fund? If not, I would set up a personal challenge to get one ASAP. You can start small and grow it. When I was first creating my emergency fund ($1,000.00) I would try to save money on things that I had budgeted for (like only spend $140.00 of my $150.00 food budget) and then keep track of my progress. At the end of the month, instead of allowing the remainder money ($10.00) to just sit in my checking account and be slush or get spent absentmindedly, I would push the remainder into my savings account. I had a little chart I colored in to give myself a sense of accomplishment when the wins were relatively small but it really helped. When I first started saving for my larger $5,000.00 emergency fund, at the beginning I was so discouraged because it felt like time I couldn’t spend paying off debt. But by the end, I had gotten really addicted to seeing the balance in my savings account increase each month in the same way I had gotten addicted to paying off debt.

    I’m so sorry this happened. I hope better things are ahead for you and Dr. K.


    1. Oh, one more thing! When I first got started paying of debt and my debt was more than double my income, something else I did was try to see where I could save on interest each month. Rates are low right now…might this be a good time to refinance? Or, if you have commercial debt, could you do a balance transfer to a card at a lower interest rate? Once I was able to get a lower rate on something, I kept putting the original payment towards it despite the fact that the new payment was usually lower and this allowed me to make a bit more headway on my debt without how much I was putting towards it actually changing.

      I know this is super obvious and you might have already done it but…I have been really scared and not had much to put towards my debt before and even when the wins were small, feeling like I was doing something, anything made me feel better.

      Again, I know this sucks. Make sure to continue taking care of yourself.


      1. Have already transferred the debt to a 0% APR card & the no interest rate should last until March 2021. If we haven’t finished paying it off by then, I’ll switch the rest to another card like that.

        Great minds think alike though. Also, thank you for the push to make a budget. It was an obvious & great idea that I had somehow just spaced on.


    2. Thanks so much for you comment, AP. I am too focused on paying off our debt bc interest rates right now to set up an emergency fund. I know a lot of people recommend doing that but it just doesn’t fit with how I work. I don’t think it’s a bad idea at all – it’s just not for me. I am trimming expenses everywhere I can lol. We are having an unusually cold snap where I live & today I kept the temp in our house much lower than I normally would have to hopefully help with the electricity bill next month.

      My husband finally decided to take an interest in our financial situation today and said to me, “This is an us problem, not a you problem to solve by yourself,” which felt really good.

      I’m the one who pays the utility bills, mortgage, credit card bills etc (even though he’s the one who works) bc he’s not detail oriented. He would forget or miscalculate things lol “my absent minded professor” is something I call him lol in a sweet way.

      He told me he will start spending wayyyy less on groceries (this has always been a big issue with our finances) and learn to cook cheaply (and if anyone can make cheap cooking taste good it’s him) & that we will be more careful about always finishing leftovers before they go bad & the same with produce & perishable items. I am feeling really encouraged by this.

      I always felt like I was the one in the marriage stressing about money alone (because I was…) & it feels really good that now (with the 20% loss of income) we are finally on the same page.

      I am going to have to adjust some things on my budget for May for sure, unfortunately I don’t get a fresh start on it until May with Mint… but I am looking forward to that.

      Again, thanks for your encouraging & thoughtful comment. You’re the best. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  3. “‘This is an us problem, not a you problem to solve by yourself,’ which felt really good.” – It sounds like you both made a good financial choice early on: You picked the right kind of ‘partner.’

    Thanks for keeping it real while you share your journey.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Why not keep it real while writing anon lol I try my best. And I really did, I got so lucky with him. Sometimes I feel like I’ve somehow accidentally tricked him into loving me & one day he’ll realize it lol there goes my anxiety speaking…


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: